2 Years and 5 Sessions
by Sugary.-.Snow
Summary: *Yaoi* USUK Arthur tells his story about how the transfer student, Alfred, came and swooped him off his feet. However, things change when Alfred abruptly becomes abusive and certain things lead up to one life changing event that will scar Arthur for the rest of his life.
1. Session 1

_It must have been a dream._

I was completely emotionless as Alfred pulled away from our kiss.

"Goodnight, Arthur," He smiled before turning away, "I'll see you at school tomorrow."

"Y-yeah," I nodded still unable to fully believe what had actual happened. "Goodnight."

I stepped into my dorm room after waving goodbye and closed the door and locked it.

_I wish it was just a dream._

* * *

How did I end up so lucky? Someone like me getting a boyfriend like Alfred... Two years ago that would have been unthinkable. It seems as if Alfred had made it his first priority to win me over every single way he could, despite the considerable amount of both women and men that threw themselves at him. And despite my blatant lack of self-esteem and trust issues, Alfred's goal wasn't to make me into some sort of project, he wasn't trying to '_fix_' me. Alfred had said many times over and over again that he just wanted to be there for me any way that he could. He didn't expect me to just forget about the sadness of my past, he just wanted to make me happy about the future.

_"And were you happy?"_

Yes, I was very happy. So happy, I could go on for hours describing that one single emotion, that one beautiful feeling. He made me sure of my existence, I didn't know what the future held but I was so sure it would be great as long as I could have him by my side. I had no idea what was coming next.

_"Before we move on though, why don't you start from the beginning, Arthur."_

The very beginning?

_"Yes, all the events that include Alfred. Describe them to me with as much detail as possible."_

* * *

My depression was like a painful, wide, gaping hole in my chest. A hole that I could cover up, but nothing could ever fill it. No amount of drugs or alcohol could ever heal it. Just numb it for a while. And numbing it is what I became accustomed to.

I first heard of Alfred's arrival at our school when I spent a day in the nurses office because I 'wasn't feeling well'. The only two nurses in the entire school were gossiping with each other on their lunch break.

"A freshman girl came in here earlier and you'll never believe what she said, " the nurse began to giggle at her own unfinished joke, "Sh-she said, 'Ma'am, can I have some medicine because I'm sick' and I said okay, what do you think you have. She looked me in my eyes and said, 'The new transfer student from class C3, is drop-dead gorgeous and has made me lovesick'. I laughed so hard I didn't even scold her, I just told her to go back to class."

While the two nurses continued their pointless conversation I had gotten curious. C3 was my homeroom class. A new student had showed up while I was faking sick? Homeroom wouldn't start for another few hours though so I decided to stay there until then.

When homeroom finally did begin I left the nurses office and took my time heading over there. As I entered the completely silent classroom I realized how awkward it was to walk in there like that.

All of the eyes, all of their judging stares and scrutinizing gazes were on me as I handed the teacher a pass and took my seat in the second row right next to the window. I stared down at the wooden desk silently.

"Nice of you to join us Mr. Kirkland," my teacher, Mr. Jerkins looked unamused, "I'm glad you're suddenly feeling better." The entire class remained silent. "Alright class, as you may already know, we have a new student. Please stand up and introduce yourself."

"Um..." I looked up when I heard him speak and saw him rising from his seat in the same row as me but on the other side of the room. He glanced around the class with his lovely blue eyes behind his rectangular glasses, briefly making eye contact with me before I looked down again shyly. "My name is Alfred Jones and... What else am I supposed to say?"

"I don't know. Tell us why you transferred to this school," Mr. Jerkins looked even more bored than some of the students.

"I got expelled," Alfred didn't seem bothered by talking about it at all, however, there were several gasps from the other students.

"W-what?" Mr. Jerkins sat up in his seat and opened up a folder that was labeled 'A. Jones' on his desk and began to read it silently.

"Do you want me to say _why_ they expelled me?" Alfred asked. He seemed entertained by everyone's shock.

"No. No, that's not necessary," Mr. Jerkins' expression while he read what seemed to be Alfred's file was one of slight disgust. "Alright class, form your study groups for the hour." Alfred was about to sit back down, "Mr. Jones, please meet me outside of the classroom for a moment."

Alfred rolled his eyes but nodded.

That's when I decided Alfred was _extremely_ attractive. His muscular build, dirty blond hair, bright blue eyes and the way he moved made him seem energetic. Somehow, it excited me. Even the way he spoke with an unshakable confidence. It all excited me.

But I wasn't delusional. I was aware that Alfred would never see me as anything more than that weirdo who sits on the other side of the room. I never expected anything to become of us.

The first time I spoke to Alfred was 2 weeks later in the Boys' Locker-room. He had just gotten out of the showers and was completely naked. The only thing that prevented me from seeing the entirety of his overflowing masculinity...was a single thin blue towel. I could feel myself turning red as I watched water droplets fall from his blond hair and drip down his shoulders.

I would have continued to stare at him longingly if it hadn't been for my friend Francis clearing his throat. He looked at me knowingly.

"What?" I pretended like I wasn't aware that I had just been staring at a classmate while he dressed.

Francis smirked, "You have a crush, Arthur?"

"N-no! It's nothing like that!" I said quickly, "I was just-"

"Staring at him like you're a starving man and he's a meal?" Francis pat me on the shoulder, "You should have told me! He's my friend I'll introduce you two."

"W-wait! No! Don't, Francis!" I hurriedly began to dress myself as Francis called Alfred over.

"Hey, Alfie!" Francis waved to him, "Come here for a sec."

After I pulled my shirt over my head I saw Alfred glance at both of us before zipping up his pants and making his way toward us.

"Hey Francis, what's up dude?" Alfred smiled. He still didn't have a shirt on and I was afraid I'd stare at him again so I just looked at the ground.

"Alfred, this is my friend, Arthur," Francis introduced us, "Arthur, this is Alfred."

"Hey, I know you," Alfred moved a bit closer and reached out to shake my hand, "You're in my Homeroom class."

"Yeah..." I said and timidly shook his hand, still not looking up.

"We should hang out sometime," Alfred offered. My heart skipped a beat at the thought of spending time with Alfred but something told me he was just being polite.

"Yeah that'd be cool," I said quietly.

"You're so quiet, dude," Alfred pointed out, "Are you nervous or something?"

"I-I..." I didn't know how to respond.

"There's no reason to be nervous around me." Then I felt his warm hand on my chin, gently tilting my head up to look at him. "It's okay."

His hair was still damp, his glasses were a bit fogged from the steam, and his smile was heartbreaking. I wanted him. I wanted him so badly it hurt. It hurt because I knew that I would never be able to have him. And that one belief of us never being anything more than friends loomed over my head like a heavy storm cloud. I looked away again.

The bell rang and it was time to head to our next class.

* * *

_"Now let's fast forward a bit. How did you and Alfred begin dating?"_

Well, throughout the months of August and September we became pretty good friends. But October... I'll never forget. It was Halloween and Alfred had begged me to go to the school dance with him and a few other friends. I think he knew I was a sucker for that wonderful smile of his. I couldn't say no.

_"What happened at the dance?"_

Oh my god... I remember Alfred dressed up as Jason Voorhees and I was a vampire. Someone had spiked the punch and on top of that I smoked quite a bit of weed before even going to the party. It was insane. I didn't dance. I just sat in the corner drinking the spiked punch, unknowingly of course. Then Alfred walked over to me and started complaining about how I was 'no fucking fun' and I got pissed. I yelled about stupid shit. Shit I would have never said if I was sober. But it was all okay because the next thing I knew we were kissing. Then Alfred led me to the bathroom and we...

_"You...? You don't have to say it."_

We fucked. It was beautiful. Never mind the fact we were in a slightly dirty public restroom, and never mind the fact that we were both slightly intoxicated... I was just filled with this wonderful...indescribable feeling that night. But that's not when I fell in love with him. I don't remember much after him and I had sex. I just remember waking up in a dorm room that was not my own. And next to me was Alfred's warm sleeping body.

My head hurt like hell and a wave of shame washed over me. I hadn't known this guy for more than 3 months and slept with him although I was fully aware that if he had been sober he would have never seen me in that way. I got up to leave but Alfred abruptly grabbed my arm pulling me back down onto the bed.

'Don't go yet,' he told me. And then I apologized. I don't know why I did but I felt like I had ruined our friendship. Because I thought we could never be anything more than friends, I forced myself to be satisfied with just that. But it hurt. And now that I had gotten a taste of what I had actually wanted I couldn't even have him as a friend anymore and that was even more painful.

He asked me why I was apologizing and then I couldn't stop the tears from pouring out. It was completely out of nowhere and took Alfred by surprise. He didn't say a word after that. He just held me. He held me for what seemed like forever and I never wanted him to let go. It was during that time that I decided that I loved him.

_"Thank you Arthur, for telling me the first part of the story and I would love to hear more but I'm afraid our time is up for now. This session is over. We'll pick it up tomorrow. Bye for now."_


	2. Session 2

_"Welcome back. I hope you're doing well. Before we start today's session I would like to take a moment to remind you that anything you say here is completely confidential and will not be shared with anyone. For this session I think we should start on something happy. Now please close your eyes. I want you to think of one of the happiest moments you ever had with Alfred. You don't have to describe it for me. Just think."_

* * *

The way Alfred pressed his lips to mine was a bit rougher than usual. And the way he held me made it seem like he was desperate to make sure I was actually there.

"I'm sorry." He whispered in-between our kisses, "I'm so sorry Arthur. Please forgive me." He took off his glasses and put them on the nightstand next to the bed we were on.

I didn't know what to say. Could I really just forgive him after what he'd done? Would forgiving him verify that I was weak and easily manipulable?

He began to unbutton my school uniform and then his own. I had to make a choice now. If I went through with this then that would qualify as giving in. That would be pretending like the bruise on my cheek didn't still ache. It would be pretending that I wasn't still completely terrified of him. So why did I still want this so badly?

"I...I forgive you," I said and closed my eyes.

"Thank you," Alfred kissed my bruised cheek, "I promise I'll never hurt you again. I love you Arthur." Every fiber of my being believed his words to be true.

"I love you too, Alfred," he yanked down my pants and unzipped his own.

* * *

The memory ends before we have sex.

_"Why do you think that is?"_

Because it wasn't the sex that makes that one of my favorite memories. It was because that was the first time he ever said he loved me.

_"Arthur...it's okay. Don't cry."_

I'm sorry. I'm a mess. I can't do this anymore.

_"No, c'mon. What do you want to talk about?"_

Well...

* * *

About a month after the Halloween dance, after we were officially dating, everything seemed to be going great. I was slowly coming out of my shell and I was happier. Much Happier. Anytime I fell Alfred was there to lift me back up.

He and I were laying on his bed. The TV was on but we weren't doing anything in particular.

"Arthur, say something," Alfred spoke softly. He didn't have his glasses on, he was just blankly staring at the ceiling. "Anything."

"I can't think of anything off the top of my head," I stared at the TV.

"Tell me what you first thought when you saw me," I didn't have to look at him to know he was grinning.

"Well I thought you were attractive. But not just from the way you look. It was the way you spoke, how amused you seemed when the class was surprised you had been expelled... But most of all it was probably the sound of your voice. I won't compare it to music, your voice isn't like music. It's more powerful...like poetry. I'm not saying music can't be poetry but I just can't compare your voice to a song. It's more like something I'd never get tired of hearing. Something I could listen to forever." I could feel myself becoming slightly embarrassed. This was like a confession, "That's what I first found most appealing about you."

"Arthur you've got such a way with words." Alfred sighed, "You compared me to something beautiful like poetry, but I'd never be able to understand something so complex..."

I didn't know how to respond to that. I felt as though he were insulting himself and wanted to say something uplifting but... It just didn't feel right. So we continued to sit in silence.

* * *

_"When did you first notice Alfred was beginning to change?"_

I can't say for sure. Sometime after the sixth month we'd been dating. Junior year was ending. We only had a few weeks left to decide if we'd go home to our parents for summer break or stay on campus. When I asked Alfred what he was going to do he said that he wasn't allowed to go back home. So at the time I was thinking 'Hey we've been dating for so many months and he knows so much about my family and background but I know near to nothing about his' and I realized that this was odd.

So I asked him about it. I wasn't prepared for his reaction. He blew up. Started yelling about how it was 'none of my goddamn business' and how intrusive my questions always were.

I was absolutely speechless, nearly horrified. I had never seen him so angry. All I had asked was why he wasn't allowed to go home. That single incident with him tore me up inside. Here I was, being open and letting him inside even the most deep and darkest parts of my mind and he deemed even a single question from me about his family as too personal. I didn't understand this so I was hurt.

Later he apologized for the outburst and I forgave him but I was still uneasy about it.

_"When was the first time he hit you?"_

A bit after the outburst he had from me asking about his family he started having small, mini-outbursts. Again, I didn't know how to react to any of them. I would usually just let him yell, apologize for things that weren't necessarily my fault, then he'd apologize later for losing his temper. But one time...one time I got angry and yelled back and he _really_ lost it.

Alfred had given me a key to his dorm so I could come and go as I pleased. His room was a horrible mess. Now, Alfred wasn't usually a messy person. He definitely wasn't a clean-freak, but he did like things to be neat. It was almost as if he was searching for something and destroyed his room in an angry fit of not being able to find what he was looking for.

In any event, I decided to clean it for him.

It was a mistake.

I thought I was doing something nice for him, something good, something that would make him _happy_. But no. He wasn't happy at all. He was _furious__. _And his extreme anger put me to shame. It had me in tears.

Although so far I had almost been completely submissive throughout our relationship there was a tiny voice inside of me saying 'No, no this isn't right. You haven't done a thing wrong. He has no right to make you feel this way for doing something you thought would make him happy'. So that's exactly what I said. Or...I was able to say most of it...

* * *

"No you can't do this, Alfred!" I yelled wiping away tears, "I haven't done a thing wrong! You have no right to-"

It happened so fast my mind barely processed what happened. Then after about a minute the realization hit me like Alfred just had. He had hit me so hard I had fallen backward and was now sitting on the bed.

"Don't fucking tell me what I can and cannot do!"

I could only stare up at him in utter shock.

No, this couldn't be right. Not Alfred, not the sweet and caring boyfriend I knew. This was _not_ the same person I fell in love with the morning after Halloween so many months ago. Things had changed and I did not know how to deal with it.

* * *

_"It's alright Arthur... That's enough for today okay? We'll continue this conversation in the next session. So go get some rest. See you tomorrow."_


End file.
